Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A Slice of Salerni Life 2012


A Slice of Salerni Life 2012 
The End of the World

Gabbey: (looking over Dianne’s shoulder) You too, Mom? All my friends on Facebook are being weird about the world ending, and I’m like, “Really, people? Don’t make me unfriend you.”

Bob: You can tell them Mommy and I saw the actual Mayan calendar at a museum in Mexico City this summer, and it said nothing about …

Dianne: That was the Aztec calendar, dear. Not the Mayan one.

Bob: It was? Oh. I got nothin’ then.

Gina passes by with a suspicious-looking can in her hand and sticks it in the refrigerator.

Dianne: That better not be crickets!

Gina: (snorts in derision) Why would I put crickets in the refrigerator?

Dianne: What was in the can, then?

Gina: Worms.

Dianne: I can’t believe we let the girls get lizards. Feeding raw chicken to the dog wasn’t enough, we’ve got to keep live vermin to feed the lizards?

Sorcia: Whine, bark, whine, whimper, sob. (Translation: I can’t believe you got lizards either. Stop looking at them! Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!)

Bob: 2012 was a good year for us. If the world has to end, at least it’s ending on a high note.

Gabbey: I’m not listening to this anymore. (puts ear buds in her ears) I’m putting on The Legend of Zelda, Symphony of the Goddesses.

Dianne: (snaps fingers) That’s right. Gabbey went to see her first concert this year. A symphony. Very highbrow. My first concert was Journey.

Bob: (raises a hand) Huey Lewis and the News.

Gina: I’ve never been to a concert, but I really, really, really want to see Justin Bieber.

Gina: (looking over Dianne’s shoulder) ARRGH! Take that out! That is NOT true!

Dianne: (applies strikethrough) Okay, okay. I was just making a joke. So Gina has never been to a concert, but she went to an air show with Tara and competed in TWO triathlons.

Gina: And Dad was awesome in the Atlantic City Triathlon with Chris and Andy! He did the bike leg in just over an hour.

Bob: Thus in the middle of the pack and thoroughly beating my goal of not being last. We even got Mom on Gina’s bike this year and built her stamina up to almost 10 miles. All she needs is one of her own, and we can go riding as a family.

Gina: You think Gabbey will come with us?

Gabbey: (pulls out one ear bud) What? In the sunshine? Unlikely. (hunkers over her laptop and types intensely)

Dianne: Don’t give us that dark, teenage attitude. We know you can do “bright and perky” after your performance in Snow White this fall. And you were pretty animated in the Avon Grove Community Theater’s production of The Music Man, too.

Bob: Wow. I almost forgot about the show this summer. How did we squeeze that AND Gina’s band camp between Spiderman on Broadway and Teotihuacan, Mexico?

Dianne: You know, not many husbands would plan a spur-of-the-moment trip to Mexico just so the wife could write a better climactic scene to her fantasy novel.

Bob: (coughstax write off”) Well, climbing to the top of the Sun Pyramid was well worth the effort, considering The Eighth Day sold to HarperCollins in a 3-book deal.

Dianne: 2012 was a darn good year, but I’m looking forward to 2013, too. Gina in Oklahoma! at the middle school, our annual Pocono ski trip …

Gina: The Spirit Game film, The Caged Graves getting published …

Bob: Maybe Vermont over Spring Break and Europe over the summer ...

Gabbey: (perks up) Driving lessons!

Silence. A long, LONG silence.

Bob: Maybe we should hope for the end of the world.

Gabbey: Ha, ha. Very funny.

Dianne: Regardless, 2012 has been a wonderful year. (gives Bob a big kiss)

Gina: Ewwww. Gross! (This from someone who puts worms in the refrigerator.)

Sorcia: Whine, bark, whine, whimper, sob. (Translation: Stop kissing her! Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me!)

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, EVERYONE! SEE YOU IN JANUARY!

29 comments:

  1. Love this!! Have a wonderful holiday!!

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  2. Nawww, you guys! <3

    And was I living under a rock when you announced this 3-book deal??? No, seriously. I had to go back and read all the announcements to make sure I hadn't congratulated you in the midst of an all-night study session and completely wiped it from memory. But alas, no comment.

    CONGRATULATIONS. What a year! Here's hoping the world doesn't end and you get to do it all again next year. :D

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  3. Oh the Salerni slices of life are so much fun, especially when Sorcia adds in two cents.

    Happy Holidays!!!

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  4. OMG, your dog is gorgeous! Fellow German shepherd owner here. I have two. Love them!

    Happy holidays to you and your family, Dianne!

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  5. It's amazing how kids can tolerate icky things likes worms, but parents kissing grosses them out. Hmmm. Actually I see their point. I wouldn't want to see my parents kiss, either. :P

    Have a awesome holiday, Dianne!

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  6. Love, LOVE this! Great way to capture the essence of your family members and the things you've done this year.

    See you on the other side of Friday!

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  7. Loved this! What a great idea. (And as a family that has to store and gut feed live crickets to keep a frog alive, if I'd known how stinky crickets were, we might not have gotten that frog.)
    Merry Christmas!

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  8. I'd say the Salernis did 2012 proud!

    May 2013 (should it *cough* arrive on schedule) be every bit as good for all of you! :)

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  9. darn those lizards are cute as hell! Happy Christmas D :)

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  10. This is brilliant : ) Happy holidays to you and your family, Dianne! xo

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  11. hi miss dianne!

    worms! lizards! now youre talking my language. ha ha.

    i love your slice of life stuff and specially what scoria says. shes knows just what she wants. :)

    i hope you and all your family have funtastical holidays!!!

    oh...and muchas gracias for the sneak peek of the 8th day. i loved it!! que bueno!!!

    ...big happy holiday hugs from lenny

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  12. Love your happy family vibe!

    Have a wonderful holiday. :)

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  13. What a super post! You guys had an awesome year, and I hope you have an awesome Christmas. Seeya next year.

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  14. Clearly, I need to come up with an ending for my manuscript in Hawaii. Or one of my characters needs to take a castle tour of Europe. Can I get your husband to talk to my husband? :)
    Merry Christmas and congrats on a great year. You inspire us all!

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  15. Now I feel like a peeping Tom...without the peep.

    HAPPY HOLIDAYS Salerni's...or just in case...HAPPY END OF THE WORLD! :)

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  16. LOL! What a fun post! I'm enjoying all the end of the world posts on FB myself...

    and worms in the fridge? Does that work? ...? :D

    I think a spontaneous Mexico trip is a great way to "research."

    Have a wonderful holiday w/your kids~ <3

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  17. Hahahaha this was great.

    May your 2013 be even better than 2012. :-)

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  18. Merry Christmas to you and your family!

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  19. What a great year for you! Hope you have so many more.

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  20. I love this. Makes my heart melt. I hope you guys have a wonderful holiday. I have no doubt 2013 will be excellent, Dianne! :)

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  21. Have a wonderful holiday! Great getting to know more about you. (:
    I used to keep insects in my mom's freezer when I was in college...I was an entomology major. :D

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  22. Hi Dianne .. lucky you with that trip - must have been so interesting .. but as most have noted lizards with the need for worms in the fridge - no really no ...

    Have a fabulous fun family time and see you in 2013 - cheers Hilary

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  23. That was fun! Sounds like you guys had a great year. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas, as well!

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

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  24. Hey,

    What a fun way to recap the year - and what it year it was for y'all, too.

    Congrats on the many achievements (including not kicking me off a scheduled post :)

    Sending the very best wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to the Salerni family from the Koopmans Ohana :)

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  25. Love this Dianne! :-) Best wishes for a happy holiday and healthy New Year.

    (And to answer your comment on my blog- I know that the most important thing about my R&R is that I learned how to revise. No question. Offer of rep? would be cool but... not as important as the skillz I'm gettin)

    See you in the new year!!!!

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  26. A good year! Here's to a great 2013 - Merry Christmas!

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