Monday, December 19, 2011

This Is Not What I Intended to Write

I attempted to write two or three different blog posts yesterday and didn't get more than a few sentences into any of them before deleting.  I was thinking of just posting "I got nothin' for ya" and being done with it, when I remembered this little piece.

I wrote it in high school -- in 1983, folks -- where it was published in our school literary magazine. Its title:

THIS IS NOT WHAT I INTENDED TO WRITE

"I think I have to go write now," I said, excusing myself with the best -- oh the very bestest -- of intentions.

Clever notions spilled out of my favorite pen and danced across the page -- but no Swan Lake, this -- more like the Disco Duck with a sore foot.  My bright idea went jump, jump, jump down the paper giggling, "Here I am! Here I am!"

"Come back here, you little rascal!" I growled, one hand swooping like a bird of prey. But it wriggled away, clambering up the bookshelves, the little son-of-a --

My initiative squealed, making a break across the desk, and belly-flopped over the edge.  My pen pursued my patience, but it was running along the arm of the turntable, and when it fell, the speed of the record spun it off against the wall. It made an interesting drip on the wallpaper, and my good-will went down for the third time in my orange juice with a piteous gurgle.

Dejected, beaten, a tad perturbed, I drooped my head toward the desk.  There -- lo and behold -- I discovered my opening line sitting splat at the head of the paper, sticking its tongue out at me.  I lunged for the vile little creature, and my pen flipped backwards over my fingers and into the air.

It couldn't have come down yet, because I haven't found it.

14 comments:

  1. This has to be the funniest post ever to tell us you had writer's block for a post idea.

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  2. Loved this! Think this is the most entertaining post I've read - writing about not being able to write. Good save! lol.

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  3. I love the action in this piece! So great!!

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  4. LOL! Love it. You were obviously always meant to be a writer. :)

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  5. Love this! You were/are such a talented writer :)

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  6. You crack me up! I definitely feel this way, too, chasing a wily story idea or inspiration for a scene. It's like trying to chase down a greased up chicken. Which I obviously don't do in real life...

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  7. That's delightful. And you did that in high school? You talented girl, you.

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  8. Hah! Don't you think it's the time of the year? For some reason it's hard to blog right now but you did a great job!!

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  9. So much happened in this piece that kept me intrigued. A very funny piece.

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  10. hi miss dianne! that was soooo neat how you made your words come alive and jump right off the page. wow! how cool is that!
    ...hugs from lenny

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  11. Hmmm, your daughter isn't the only one in the family whose talents bloomed at an early age. Great piece, and I'm impressed that you still had it where you could put your finger on it so readily.

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  12. Fantastic! More though, I'm impressed you still had it. I have lost too many things I've written, but for the most part, I think it's probably a good thing.

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  13. The pictures I have in my head right now are awesome :-)

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  14. I did a similar thing in high school. I procrastinated too long to write a piece for my creative writing class, so the night before, I wrote a piece about procrastinating on my creative writing piece. I was actually pretty proud of it.

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